Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I can't turn off my feet"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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