I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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