Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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