You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Text me some of your sweat
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