butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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