I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
