she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just googled if crying burns calories
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
