Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
