All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
