Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
