She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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