So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
