dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize