I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
