come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
