His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
