Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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