I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
