I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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