Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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