the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize