saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
