After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
