??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
