My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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