just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
