Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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