I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel like death gave me a hand job
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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