Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
