what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
