I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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