Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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