I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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