Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
