Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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