The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
