he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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