He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
