im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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