I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
