I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize