is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
