I'm really into asian looking animals
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
