Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
