I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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