Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
