yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize