I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
