Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
