it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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