I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
