my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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