I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize