Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
