Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
