All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
