I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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